Crash and Burn (Amber/Open)

[Pandora Relenta]

the fire i began is burning me alive ,

Pandora's eyes snapped open. She was shaking violently and hurting everywhere. She couldn't feel anything but pain. It was the same feeling as knives piercing every centimeter of her body. She opened her mouth, feeling a moan in the back of her throat, but only a hacking cough came out. She could hear the other coughs and moans of every other sickie in the infirmary. She coughed and her lungs and heart felt like they were on fire, burning her from the inside out. Then it hit her like a bullet.

She was going to die. It's very hard to realize that you are about to die. I never even wanted it to end like this, she thought to herself miserably as saltwater tears began to stream from her blue eyes. She didn't want her life to end with her like this. She never did. Pandora had had such a short life. It was sad to think that it was ending.

Pandora tried to think of everyone that had ever been so kind to her or that she had loved. She knew almost nothing about her father, but she knew that she had loved him. She thought about Amber, who hated her guts now. She thought about Brandon, who she really liked. And she was going to die. Just like this. Tonight.

Panda decided that she would just lie there, old coughs burning her throat and chest, crying like an idiot, thinking about everything that she used to have. She heard every good thing that her father said to her in her head when she felt like giving up. You can do this Pandora. You'll be great Pandora ... then she realized something. She remembered him. His messy brown hair and tendency to forget things. Then she smiled.

Pandora Relenta smiled to herself for the first time in weeks. She didn't even remember the last time she had smiled. All of her memories flooded back to her making her burning headache even worse, but it felt worth it. She was from Michigan. It all came back to her. It felt nice to know who she has. Pandora. That was who she was.

Dark black patches danced around her eyes. The room went in and out of focus. This is how I'm going, she thought to herself. She was sort of upset that it had to be so slow and painful. This was what she had to be woken up for? To die? Like this? In severe pain emotionally and physically? Finally knowing who she was and then dying? It seemed like a sad way to go. And it was how she was going to go.

[Amber Craze James]

it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday,

[/color]

She was in the Apollo cabin, writing a song. Nothing hard. Just one of those, "when I'm gone..." songs. The flu had been going around, she didn't know if her mom would live long enough to see her... it just seemed like something to do. Life seemed to be so fragile, on the edge of the glass, ready to tip over at any moment. Her plan was to make different songs, describing her relationship with each person. Her current song was just a simple one describing everything. She was also going to record her will, and put it all on a CD. Make an album with all the different songs. Her skinny hand wrote down the different lyrics and notes in her songbook. She tried to express what everyone meant to her, but it didn't come easily. She felt like her heart might have been mending itself. She and Pandora were getting along, her and Ilo where together, and she was going back home with Skye, Josh, and Ilo. It all seemed okay.

She had no idea how wrong she was.

"Amber," Amber jumped at the knock on the door. "Yeah?" Amber looked up at her half brother, Danny. "We..." The blonde boy leaned on the door frame. He looked exhausted. "Just... dammit. I didn't want to tell you, but... crap." He slapped the door in frustration. Amber got up, worried. "Danny... what?" She walked to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off. "It's... Pandora. We didn't know who to tell. But... whatever this flu is... well, we can't be sure. This flu is horrible and we don't know for sure. But we think that Pandora's dying. We--" That was all Amber needed to hear. She rammed passed him, and flew out the door. Sure, Pandora had gotten into a fight with Amber. But when her life was on the line, it all seemed so stupid. So, so stupid. They should have never gotten into a fight at all...

Amber ran so hard that she felt dizzy; her head injury started to take it's toll, and somewhere along the line, she pulled a muscle in her left leg. But she just kept running. Nothing mattered but getting to Pandora. When she got there, Kylee, her younger sibling saw her and must have known why she was there, limping and sweaty. She pointed up the stairs, and Amber took off. She dodged people carrying food and medicine and other things. She sprinted alone, scanning for red hair. When she saw the only bed with a group of people standing around it, Amber ran up to it and saw a familiar freckled face laying on a bed. "G-get back!" She screamed at them. "Get away from her!" She pushed through the crowd of people and put her hands on Pandora's bed. The people around her seemed to sense Amber's tension and backed off.

The blonde took Pandora's hand and sat in a chair next to her bed. "P-Pandora..." She gasped, crying and breathing hard. Pandora looked so weak. Her hair had lost it's curl; her skin had lost it's color. Her hands where so cold. Amber pulled another blanket from an empty bed and put it on her. "It's gonna be all right..." she said, crying. "I-I promise. I revived you with the adrenaline that one time... I can keep you alive."

Little did she know that it was a promise Amber just couldn't keep.

[Pandora Relenta]

the fire i began is burning me alive ,

Pandora wanted to say something as Amber walked in. She wanted to say Oh, it's fine, Amb! Wanna go down to the beach later or something? But that would sound so stupid, that Pandora didn't even want to see it. She just sat there, looking sort of confused. There were so many things that I never did ... then Pandora realized something. She was mad at Amber. At least, she was supposed to be.

"And why do you even care?" she choked out, her voice a rasp. "Because last time I checked you hated me." if Pandora were herself, you could see herself standing there, her hip out to one side - the right side - with her arms folded across her chest. The old peppy Pandora. The one that she used to be. Not the twisted, dellusional, dying Pandora that she was now.

The redhead knew that deep down that Amber cared. Pandora could hear the caring in her voice. But did it even matter? Did it even matter for Pandora? It did matter to her, but she didn't want it to matter to her. As a matter of fact, Pandora Relenta was just a stupid, gossiping freak now. It's not as if anyone liked her. At least some people who had put bets on her death would get some money.

Whenever Pandora would walk out of the infirmary for a little fresh air, everyone would whisper around her. "You know, Pandora looks even sicker than usual." "Five drachmas she's the first one to go." "That's Pandora the Sickie. Everyone says that she's leaving first." "Isn't that Pandora?" "Wow. She looks like a zombie." People acted like it didn't hurt her. They were just talking about her! The past month this girl had been getting worse, not better.

In fact, Pandora didn't even know how the healers could call it a "flu" anymore. The mortal "flu" is when you stay home from school for three days and go back and catch up on your work. Not nearly die or spend one month in an overcrowded, sweaty, sickly infirmary. You could practically smell the sick. It was disgusting.

"So," she said to Amber "This is how I'm going down?" Anger burned at her eyes and cheeks. "You hate me for a month while I've been dying. It's like waking up everyday and telling yourself 'Everyone hates me. Maybe I'll have the opportunity to die today.' I've been wishing that I was dead for the past month and now all of the sudden I'm six minutes away from death, find out every single little thing about my past, and you suddenly care. And now I die? What's it even to you? You should be celebrating. Bet anything that I'm the first one?" there was no sympathy in her voice at all.

Pandora wasn't done yet. Her raspy voice filled her lungs. "Oh, I get it, Amber. You've had problems of your own, I'm sure. But guess what? Did it ever occur to you that you haven't been rotting away in a sicky death trap for a month? Did it ever occur to you that you've got friends to help you? Do I? No." her eyes blazed with anger and fire. At least should would be able to throw out her little anger speech before she was dead.

[Amber Craze James]

it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday,

[/color]

A tear dripped down Amber's cheek. "I never hated you... I was confused... Pandora, I always cared about you... I was just afraid that..." more tears, and Amber took a moment to breathe. "T-that you didn't care about me. I mean, we got into fights but it always rolled off of me... un-until when you and Brandon..." She put her head in her hands, sobbing into them. She didn't need to finish the sentience; Pandora understood. She was so, so stupid. She should have excepted her as a friend long ago. The fact that Pandora had said some nasty things seemed so insignificant. If only Amber had paid more attention to the pain in her eyes, she would have accepted her friendship. She was so stupid. So so so so so so so stupid.

"Pandora my life has been hell; one bad thing after another. I just didn't notice it until you broke my friggin' heart. Yes, friends can break hearts. But I realized---you didn't break my heart. It was never whole. I never hated you, I always hated everything else, I just took it out on you. I-I-I..." Amber struggled to keep talking, but it felt like her lungs where bleeding. "What I mean is that I... I love you. As a friend, I mean... since you and I got into a fight, I've had no friends. Ilo vanished; I haven't seen him in forever. Skye is... I think she's avoiding me. Because... I don't know. Probably because I suck. I just... I haven't had anyone to lean on either. And now my mom is dying and I have to leave camp and live with a dad that hates me and--" She covered her face with her sleeves. Her next words where distant and muffled. "And I have to do it without you." Behind her sleeves, her voice was small.

"I-I'm sorry." Words came spilling out of her mouth like a hose spurting water. "I'm sorry I ever made you think that I hated you. I'm sorry that I was a terrible friend before that. I'm sorry that I made hell for you, trying to get you and Brandon together. I'm sorry that I ever said anything nasty. I'm sorry that I haven't been here with you." Amber coughed, scraping the bottom of her broken, twisted heart to show Pandora she was telling the truth. She felt so stupid, so cruel, so mean, so... so... so... so much like she should have always felt. Looking back, she saw that she was a terrible person. But she was determined to change that. She poured every little detail of what she was sorry about into Pandora, trying to show her she meant it. if she died, Amber wanted her to at least know that she was loved before she kicked it. "I'm so sorry for... everything." Amber took Pandora's hand with one of hers and cried into the blonde girl's free hand. Her life was ending; it would die with Pandora's.