Post by Max Darke on May 26, 2013 20:09:03 GMT -5
It had been merely days since Max had discovered that she and Finn were only two years apart from each other's age after they had gotten into some trouble. Well, she had gotten into trouble. This would not have been an issue, if Max did not over think things; she had always considered the six-year age gap confirmation that he would never flirt with her. But now? Especially considering that a bit before Max had found out this information, she had broken and told him about Jeanine. Partly because he had grabbed her face, making them come awkwardly close. Anger on top of claustrophobia on top of just not liking awkward moments can make you talk. It had been silent after that for a moment, before she had spoken and realized he was gently rubbing her back and she almost jumped out of her skin. Quickly, she had sat down, covering what had happened. She supposed it was suppose to help her, but talking about it just made it worse. They were all going to die, and they were all going to lose their minds. She couldn't make it into Elysium. If her sister couldn't, neither could she.
...Then came the promise.
She had known he couldn't keep it - Finn was no more a hero than she - but he had promised to never forget her. Part of her had wanted to argue, another part promise him the same. But something about the way he said it made her feel a little weird, and she couldn't make herself argue. She hoped to gods that this wasn't a crush. Her first and only one had she was convinced had been an illusion, so she wouldn't know what it felt like. Of course, Max (whether she would admit it to herself or not) might have enjoyed his company in the past; there was nothing wrong with him that made her not want to date him, it was all her. The thought of getting into any kind of serious relationship - platonic or not - was one of the few things that terrified her. Someone would be relying on her to comfort them or whatever, and then someone would expect to just be able to make her happy. She rarely smiled for truth - then again, she rarely cried at all, so it was balanced out.
The scariest thing was heartbreak. Whether one of them died, or they just broke up, it would cause heartbreak. It was only scary to her because she was never sure what it felt like. And if it was anything like Jeanine dying, it was enough to tear anyone apart. She had mentally re-constructed herself so that she would never feel that way again. It had been her last resort, and if it happened again she might actually break. Besides, was she even girlfriend material? She had never kissed anyone (willingly), she was bad with people and she was never sure of her emotions. Especially love, considering the only person who had ever loved her was a lot like herself, to be honest. Not only that, though - she wasn't exactly pretty, she stole most of her clothes from boys. It's not like she wanted to kiss, either; it was sort of stupid that people sat there kissing people twenty-four seven in her opinion. Maybe a few times not much. And hugging was weird... Being claustrophobic meant that she couldn't deal with someone's arms wrapped around her too long. But then again, fear is something you can compromise if needed. For her, anyway.
She sighed, her fingers tracing across the top of the water, slicing easily. She kicked a bit, tasting a bit of salt from the ocean as it poured over her. Before she had gone back to camp, she had used a bit of her money (from stealing and selling stuff... and Maddie had stuck some in her jeans that Max hadn't realized until she was gone) to buy some clothing. She looked of a swim suit, but all they had that was remotely comfortable and in her size was a blue plaid bikini. So she had settled on getting a gigantic Beetles shirt to wear over it. It weighed her down quite a bit, but she was still a decent swimmer. She generally didn't like swimming because it made her think of her father, but it did help to take her mind off of things. Things being Finn. Gods, why couldn't she stop thinking about him? It was weird, like a door in her brain had swung open when they found out the nearly closed age gap between them.
Maxine Grace Darke, she told her firmly as she plunged under water. You will not crush on him. Or anyone. She set it in stone right then and there. Her tan limbs sliced through the water easily, the waves small enough as to not pull her in any direction for too long. It was so peaceful. Totally, utterly peaceful. Not many campers were there, and the ones that were there were snoozing or talking quietly; people weren't running around like they usually did. It was too peaceful for her liking. She needed noise. She needed some campers talking to occupy her so thoughts of how stupid their comments were. She needed--she needed--she needed... Company. That had never happened before. Sure, there had been lonely nights where she wanted Jeanine, but since she had gotten to camp... Nothing.
Oh, but what would be better than this to prove something to yourself? She thought, starting to pull herself towards the sand. Prove it to yourself that you will not crush on Finn. Go over to him. So maybe that was a little weird that she was talking to herself in third person, but it wasn't like she actually thought she was asking to someone. Besides, she was right. She needed to go out and see him, just to make sure that she could shut down any emotions that came. But she would need a reason... Oh, she had a perfect one. She pulled herself out of the water, her swimsuit clinging to her skin as she squeezed out her hair. Yup, a perfect reason.
***
Having decided against the prank she was going to pull, Max had taken a shower and stolen several cans of soda, chips and junk food from Mr. D's stash in the kitchen. But where would Finn be this time of day? The cabin. Yeah. Classes were over, and he would be back at the cabin getting ready for dinner. Hopefully. She didn't want to wander around all day. But at the same time, she found herself forcing her legs to move in that direction, and her arms to carry the weight of the bag. The moves didnt come as naturally as they should have... it was like... everything in her was screaming not to see him. And why? She wasn't exactly sure, but it scared her. It was one of the few things that could truly do that. And she wasn't sure why she was scared. The fact that she was scared at all kind of scared her.
She came towards the cabin, trying to calm her heart that was beating abnormally fast and trying to slow down her brain that was running at a million miles per hour. Luckily, she had chosen comfortable clothes, so she wasn't physically annoyed. A loose, white and navy cropped top and navy shorts, with comfortable black combat boots was enough to make her feel right at home. Above the stripes of the top was her gold chain, and strapped to her leg was a spare dagger. So yep, no question that she was extremely comfortable.
When she reached the cabin door, she couldn't make herself open it. Partly because the bag strapped over her shoulder was heavy (though that didn't really affect her arms), and partly for no reason at all. After standing for a moment, trying to calm down, and think of what she would even say, she realized that it wouldn't work. She just had to take it as it was thrown at her. That was what she would do. Lifting her foot, she opened the door by kicking it, because it was the only action she could muster. She fumbled over the words to say, but then said the first thing she could. She hadn't even planned to say it until it was out of her mouth.
"FINN?"
