{Adam} This emptiness in the bottom drawer.

[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

Sighing slightly as she maneuvered around the fallen crimson leaves that dotted the place at the center of the commons as though they were small pits of fire, Keelin kept her eyes straight ahead. She didn't notice that she hadn't been doing so much as blinking until her eyes began to water slightly painfully, and at that point she needed to stop for over ten seconds and blink continuously until the sting finally cleared.

The daughter of Apollo wasn't quite sure why she should feel so strongly about what was happening, and yet she felt different than normal. More dank, as though somebody had come and doused her with a concoction that made her feel abnormally apathetic — and it was worrying her, as some people knew her as overly emotional. Today, she walked like a robot with controlled steps and her eyes trained on one place. Her hands swung methodically, and she wasn't sure where she was going or what she was doing. The primary thought that had formed in her head was that she needed to get somewhere alone.

Why was Adam back? She wondered, her footsteps quickening slightly. When she'd broken up with him and cut off basically all contact with his siblings, she hadn't thought she would ever see him again. And yet... she had been wrong. He was back, and who knew what was in store. If she were lucky, she would be able to avoid him; but if he was back it meant he was a counselor. And counselors... well, they always encountered each other. It was their job to work together as one and see how things were run.

Without realizing, Keelin had opened the door to the Big House. A rush of warm air greeted her as she stepped inside, and without really knowing what she was doing, her feet guided her to Chiron's office, where she twisted the doorknob. Freezing right as she was entering, her eyes widened as she saw who was there. Chiron wasn't, but who was? Adam Smith. "Oh," she breathed before she could stop herself. She was going on autopilot now, unsure what her voice would come up with next. "Adam." Her voice stuck in her throat from a recent cold, and she tried again. "Adam. Hey." Trying to sound nonchalant, Keelin hurriedly wandered over to a corner desk. "I was just looking for these... papers..." Shuffling through a stack of papers that Keelin didn't have anything to do with, she turned her back and pretended she was invested in her skimming through Chiron's documents. In reality, however, her mind was spinning. Unpleasantly.

[Adam Smith]

Adam would be lying if he said he wasn't excited to be back at camp. He had missed this place. He'd missed the daily training, capture the flag, camp fires in the evening and the smell of the near by salt water. He had missed the memories he'd made here.

He stepped out of the Hermes cabin and stretched his arms out. He was glad to be back in his old place, and now he had to figure out EXACTLY what his duties would be while he was here. He knew the basics, but Chiron had told him that he had to wait till today to get his full list of duties.

So, he headed towards the big house. He walked across the camp with a confident stride. He was in a good mood, and he intented to stay that way.

A sound caught his attention, and without thinking he glanced towards the sound. There were a lot of kids outside the Apollo cabin talking about who knew what. It was impossible for him to hear from here. It was the first time he'd seen the cabin. He'd taken great pains not to look over at it. He didn't want to think about it, but now it was unavoidable. Well, there went his good mood.

He paused mid-stride, and stared at the cabin for a few seconds. It didn't take a mind reader to know what he was thinking about. Anyone who knew his history would have figured it out. He was thinking about their night together. His and Keelin's. It had been them, just them. And it had been perfect. Then she'd left him.

He sighed and shook his head, forcing the memories out of his head and searching for that good mood he'd had only moments before. He continued to the big house. He opened the door easily and headed into Chiron's office. He opened the door, and quietly closed the door behind him, then turned to face the office. Then sighed again.

It was empty. Chiron was gone, no doubt off working with some camp students. He shook his head wearily before turning around to leave. He'd go look for him, seek him out if he had to. He reached out for the door nob, and right before his hand touched it the knob twisted. Huh... That was odd. Then the door opened.

He took a step back, expecting Chiron to be coming through the door and back into his office. He put a smile on his face, ready to greet the old centaur, but as the door opened fully, he felt his smile, involuntarily, fade. "Keelin?"

As he realized that it was indeed her, he put the smile back on his face, and cursed himself for not having dressed a little better. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans, that looked like he'd had them for a while. And infact, he had. He was also wearing a green t-shirt. It fit him fairly snuggly, but he still wished he'd dressed a little nicer. He resisted the urge to run his hands through his hair. He hadn't fixed it up or anything this morning, and it was probably looking a little shaggy. This was the last time he left the cabin looking like this for a while.

She seemed to be going through the same momentary feeling of shock. And who could blame her? He had known she would be here, he'd had a brief conversation with Chiron about it before hand, but he knew it was awkward for her. It was awkward for him too. He watched as she fumbled around with papers on the desk.

He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't being completely honest. Of course, he hadn't seen her in years, so who knows how well he still knew her. She could have completely changed since he'd last seen her. Gods knew he had.

He put on a smirk, one of his crooked smiles, "Glad you found what you're looking for."

As he spoke he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall he'd been standing beside. Gods it was good to see her again. She was just as beautiful as she'd been before, he could barely tell she had changed. "It's good to see you."

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[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

When he spoke, Keelin couldn't help but startle, knocking the table with her elbow but forcing herself to ignore the prickles of pain that came with the clumsy action. His voice was so familiar and yet so strange. It had changed through the years when they had been absent from each others' lives, and the sound of it sent shivers down Keelin's spine. She wasn't quite sure why, as his voice was completely average; and yet there was something different and special about it. "Yeah," she replied awkwardly, stumbling over the words. "Me too." In reality, she hadn't found anything she was looking for, because she hadn't been looking for anything. Picking up a piece of paper without examining the print on it before folding it into quarters and shoving it in the pocket of her dark-wash jeans, she didn't turn to face him quite yet. The shock of seeing him all grown, when she still thought of him as the slightly ganglier teenage boy she'd seen last, settled upon her like a layer of dust. It was like he'd aged years in several minutes; the breakup seemed no more than a week ago. Oddly distant yet in the near past nevertheless.

Rubbing her elbow where it had hit the corner of the table, Keelin couldn't help but turn to face him when she heard his next comment. He sounded oddly cheerful, though the counselor couldn't tell if it was superficial or genuine; perhaps a mix of both. Her voice held despondent undertones beneath the surface as she forcibly spoke. "Mutual." This was not the Keelin that the campers usually knew; she felt more formal and strangely distant, as though her confident and bubbly self had been sucked away. Leaning against the table, nervously sneaking occasional glances at the stack of paper she had stolen from, Keelin asked "How have you been?" yet avoided looking her ex-boyfriend in the eye.

[Adam Smith]

Adam watched as she bumbed into the desk, and again had to fight his urges. He wanted to reach out and steady her, or at least check that she was ok. But he didn't want to push his luck. He bit his lip though to keep from commenting. He felt kind of guilty, almost as if he'd made her hit the desk. He knew he wasn't responsible of course, but he also knew his presence made her uncomfortable, which of corse wouldn't help with anything.

He continued watching as she slipped the paper into her pocket, and smirked. She really had no clue what she'd just picked up. Everything started to come together. "Are you sure you aren't related to Hermes?"

He watched her rub her hand, and felt bad again. He started to reach out to examine it, but remembered this was the firs time he'd seen her in years. He withdrew his hand and let it hang loose at his side. "Hey, you ok?"

He couldn't help but smile at her next comment. Mutual. He couldn't tell exactly if she was saying that to be polite or if she actually meant it. He had a feeling it was probably more of the first one, but she was making an effort and that was enough to make him happy. For now.

What had he been up to? For the slightest second he frowned. He thought silently about that for a minute, Oh, nothing really. Being miserable. He forced the crooked smile to his face, "Not much. Mostly was helping my mom...You?"

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words; 262
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words by Doctor Who!
image from STALK ME REDNECK and Lillian Porter @ CAUTION 2.0

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[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

She shuddered when he pointed out her slipping the paper into her pocket. "Damn," she groaned accidentally, tugging the paper out again and opening it. It was an order for strawberries from a café in New York... oh. Maybe it was a good thing that he had caught her; otherwise the camp's money would have been lost for no reason. And there would have been New Yorkers deprived of their strawberries, of course, she thought, a hint of a smile betraying her as it snuck its way onto her lips. "I'm pretty sure it's, um, uh," she paused for a second out of sheer nervousness, "Apollo. Just Apollo." It would have been obvious to any onlookers, and probably Adam, that she wanted nothing more to turn around and leave the room. Leave her past feelings for Adam Smith behind forever, shed like clothes in a corner, and never return for them.

"Yeah," she replied shortly to his question, catching a blur of movement out of the corner of her eye. The withdrawal of his hand. Had he been reaching out to her? Keelin didn't know what to do. Shifting her weight from side to side, she dropped her hand as well and inspected a small freckle underneath her ex-boyfriend's eye. You haven't seen this guy in years, she told herself. Who knows what he's like now? She had changed; they all had. What was Adam like now; she hoped she would never find out. She needed to leave. Doing so much as darting to the door and twisting the knob, the coldness of the brass shocked her skin and she drew back. Half of her didn't want to leave. "Fine." One-word answers would get the conversation nowhere. That was where she wanted it to go.

"Uh, cool," she stuttered ridiculously at his comment about helping his mom. "That sounds nice." Taking a deep breath and forcing her shaky breathing to cease, she said, "Oh, I work in the Arts & Crafts tent. I get to help out a lot of the littler kids." Breath. "They're cute." Yes, something was definitely wrong with her; standing there with one half of her conscience poised to leave and the other wanting to stay forever.

[Adam Smith]

Adam smirked, he was right. He had caught on to her act. He could also see her trying to think of a way out without seeming rude. He didn't want her to leave. He wanted to keep talking to her. He wanted to get to know her again. He watched as she moved to the door, and it shocked her. He frowned, "Today isn't really your day is it."

It wasn't a question. He listened to her talking about the arts and crafts and the kids. He smiled. She'd always been good with kids. "I'm sure you enjoy that."

He could still tell she was uncomfortable, so he leaned forward. Now he was closer to her, only about a foot way or so, and he sighed as his hand reached for the door. As much as he wanted to keep her here, and continue this conversation, the gentleman in him noticed her discomfort, and wouldn't be satisfied until she was more comfortable. "Well, I can tell you've got somewhere to be..."

He didn't smile as he usually would have, and his voice carried a slight tone of disappointment, but he hoped she wouldn't notice it. His hand grasped the door knob, ignoring the small shock he received, and opened the door for her. He hoped she would deny it. But he felt like he was holding her here, maybe not physically, but she certainly didn't seem able to walk out of her own free will.

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words by Doctor Who!
image from STALK ME REDNECK and Lillian Porter @ CAUTION 2.0

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[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

When Adam remarked on how it really wasn't her day, she had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Oh, he had no idea. But of all the thoughts running through her mind, all she did was nod dumbly and maybe sputter out the words "I guess not, yeah," somewhere around that period of time. "I mean... yeah. Caught me at a bad time." Again, she nodded. So apparently her years of nicely honed acting skills were evaporating now as well. "Sorry. Long day." In order to stop herself from speaking again and messing everything up further (if possible, ofcourse), Keelin bit her tongue until the metallic taste that could only be blood spread upon her tongue.

At his comment about what she did now, Keelin couldn't help but smile. "I do enjoy it," she replied, tone softer this time. And it was true. She'd always loved to work with little kids and working with glitter glue as well was nothing but an added bonus that came with being the arts and crafts counselor. "Where do you think that you'll be working?" Her tone was friendly, but the words were different. She wasn't trying to keep him here so much as just be as distantly friendly as she could. "Any ideas yet?" It was as though her brain had switched off and her mouth was now running on autopilot. Well... pretty crappy autopilot.

When he opened the door, her heart hammered against her chest. He did look disappointed, and she felt guiltier than she had for years now. "No," she said shortly. Clearing her throat, Keelin tried to speak again. "No. Sorry. I don't..." The papers lay forgotten on the table as Keelin tried to cover up all the mistakes she had made. "I'm sorry, Adam," she finally breathed out. Adam would never know how loaded that one word was, but hopefully he would know that the daughter of Apollo truly did mean those words.


ooc; so apparently I can't write. >_>
anyway, so sorry this took so long!
I'll try to be more prompt. >_> XD

[Adam Smith]

Adam nodded. He really was sorry that he'd caught her off guard. He hadn't intended for that to happen. "Well I'm sorry I surprised you."

He really was. But he was glad that she was enjoying her current position. Her next question had him thinking though. He didn't know for sure, but he expected he'd be working in the arena. He'd always felt the most comfortable there, and he enjoyed training and teaching others how to work with the weapons. "I'll probably work with the kids in the arena. I've always enjoyed the training exercises."

When she didn't immediately dart out of the open door his heart kind of fluttered. At least she wasn't racing to get away from him, so that could be a good sign. Maybe she didn't completely hate him.

Sorry? He lifted an eyebrow in slight confusion. She hadn't done anything wrong, to his knowledge anyway. She was uncomfortable. He was the one that should be sorry. Then, the thought struck him, that she was saying she was sorry for everything she'd done in the past. Breaking up with him? That was normal. She was allowed. Disappearing for so long? He admitted to himself that he had been incredibly frustrated by that particular chain of events, and he yearned to know where she'd been, but it wasn't his place to ask. Not anymore.

He gave a sigh and looked down at her. She looked so sad and he hated that. Without thinking he reached out and gently touched her arm. "Hey, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

He didn't like seeing her upset, he never had. But then, he didn't really like to see anyone upset. He realized then that he'd touched her and moved his arm away. That probably wouldn't help with her discomfort. He sighed, somehow he felt like all of this was his fault, but he didn't know if that was true or if there was anything he could do to make it better. "Keelin, is there anything I can do?"

He hoped she understood his question. He wasn't just trying to be nice. He really wanted to know. Did she want him to leave him alone? He could do that. Did she want him to talk to her? Have a cup of coffee or something and talk about what happened between them? He could do that too. He just, wanted to help her. Whatever she needed. He had loved her so completely back in the day, and although he wouldn't say he still loved her, she still meant a lot to him, and he wanted to anything and everything he could to make her happy again. Even if that meant leaving her alone.

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words; 450
outfit; CLICK!!
tagged; Keelin
notes; YAY! We're posting again lol
credits;
words by Doctor Who!
image from STALK ME REDNECK and Lillian Porter @ CAUTION 2.0

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[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

It made Keelin a little sad, to sense the undertone of despondence that his tone of voice carried. "Don't worry about it..." She allowed herself to draw out the final syllable, let her voice carry and make it sound as though she cared. And honestly - honestly, she did care. Her emotions were betraying her; she wanted to seem apathetic, but she couldn't choose the way she felt. "Look..." There she was, a slip of the tongue away from telling him everything. Why she had left him, why she had left camp. Why she had left... everything that she had known for so long. But she swallowed the opportunity and all that was left was an unfinished statement, one that she let hang in the air until the discomfort ruffled her hair.

The daughter of Apollo smiled slightly at his next comment. She had always remembered how he'd enjoyed the training that Camp Halfblood offered. And then, of course, the younger kids - Keelin was sure that Adam would do a wonderful job with them. She'd experienced firsthand what it felt like when Adam was compassionate about you, as he surely would be with his students. "You'll do great." She said it genuinely, with a note of caring. But all that was forced, though those feelings were anything but artificial. Keelin was just so confused and unsettled about the whole ordeal. Looking at him - making eye contact sent a lump into her throat and twisted her stomach. But his voice lifted her heart, all at once.

Adam's touch was something that Keelin had missed beyond words. She let the warmth of his skin linger on hers for a moment before she recalled the fact that the two of them were strangers now. They were not Adam & Keelin, Keelin & Adam. They were just two counselors who had just happened to run into each other. Pulling away from him as subtly as she could do, attempting to do it politely, Keelin bit her lip. This was too much for her to process right now. She just needed to be alone, perhaps speak to someone who could listen. Don't worry about it, he had just said. But that was impossible. She needed to worry. About what, she wasn't sure, but Adam... he left her worried.

His last question rang in Keelin's ears and swirled in her mind until the meaning had been wrung from the syllables. But, finally, she realized that there was reas reality for her to reply to and shuffled her feet uncomfortably before answering the son of Hermes. "Um. Not really... but um... thank you." Eloquence eluded her, her words unkind to her as they left her mouth. And then she spat it out, the central thought on her mind. "Adam... I miss you." After a long pause, it came out in a rush. An ugly, ill thought-out rush that Keelin would surely regret in time. "Goddammit, I miss you so much. And I have for... since I left... I..." Pausing for breath, Keelin stared at her feet while she spoke the words that she had once said to him so many times. "I love you, Adam." Blinking to ward off the tears that burned at her eyes, Keelin spoke once more before biting her tongue and tasting the blood that forced her to fall silent. "I never stopped... loving you."


ooc; melodramatic muse is melodramatic.

[Adam Smith]

Adam took a step back from her as she spoke her last words. They had caught him completely off guard and he clumsily leaned against the filing cabinet. She missed him? And more...she LOVED him? He resisted the urge to glare at her. She didn't even know him anymore.

When she'd left him, she'd taken a piece of his heart with her, and it had taken a long time for him to find that again. What she said now just confused him. To no end. "Keelin..."

How could he reply to that? What did she expect him to say? He missed her? He loved her too? He couldn't say that. Sure, he HAD missed her, and he DID love her. How much? He didn't know. When you haven't seen someone in years, there's no way to know what your feelings will be. He looked her over as he thought about what to say. She had changed so much. Whatever had happened, whatever had happened to set her off, to make her leave, to make her leave HIM...it had changed her. He had to figure this out...When he started talking it all came out in a rush, almost panicky.

"Keelin...what happened to us? I mean, did I do something wrong? Was I too clingy, or not clingy enough? Or did I do something to make you angry? I'm sorry, I know that's a lot of questions...but...Keelin you just disappeared. I thought you'd been killed, or taken by the monsters, or...SOMETHING. Those few days when you were gone, I kept telling myself that you were ok, that you'd be back before I knew it and everything would be like it was. Then you came back. And nothing was like it was. You were so distant. I knew something had happened while you were gone but you wouldn't talk to me...then you broke up with me."

He stopped talking now, he needed a moment to figure out what he expected to come from this. He looked at her closely, wishing he could read her mind. Oh how much easier life would be if he could. He took a deep breath..."You said, just now, that you love me. That you'd always loved me...Well, I...I don't...I don't really know how to respond to that right now."

He sighed as he righted himself, standing up straight to face her. It broke his heart to see her upset, but now he was getting upset himself. He was stumbling through sentences, and he couldn't think straight.

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words; 418
outfit; CLICK!!
tagged; Keelin
notes; sorry took so long. life is kind of...crazy.
credits;
words by Doctor Who!
image from STALK ME REDNECK and Lillian Porter @ CAUTION 2.0

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[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

Goddammit, Keelin. She honestly didn't know what had happened; she was usually so in control of what she said, carefully analyzing syllable after syllable in her head until she was sure none of her secrets had embedded themselves in the fabric of the words. But... the emotion had taken her over; sneakily as well. And then the goddamned words had tumbled out and here she was. Stuck. Keelin couldn't bring herself to look Adam in the eye; instead, she chose to stare at her footwear, ears glowing red. Once Adam paused, she didn't trust herself to speak. But once again, it seemed as though she were beyond choosing her words; the embarrassment remained, but hopefully it would not intensify.

"Oh... oh gods..." After just this, she broke off for a second, considering as well as she could what to say next. "No... it wasn't you... and... damn it. I'm so sorry for putting you through that when you did nothing wrong. I was just... scared of..." Scared of what, exactly? Keelin wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Adam about their child, though she knew that he did have the right to know. And then what would he think of her, essentially murdering who would have eventually grown up to be a beautiful son or daughter of theirs? "Consequences," she finally settled on, although the word tasted wrong in her mouth. "And if you want to know the rest... well, I'll tell you the rest. I just don't know how to... begin..."


ooc; this kind of sucks. sorry. D:

[Adam Smith]

Adam stood there, almost in a sort of shock. Consequences? Consequences for what? Sure they'd had that perfect night shortly before she'd left. But nobody knew about it except them. Neither of them had told anyone. Right? He was so confused right now. His head was spinning, his wheels turning, trying to figure out what had happened. Consequences. She had said it wasn't his fault. What would have consequences, considerable enough for her to be scared of them? It wasn't as if...He paused. He hadn't considered that before now. He supposed...it was a possibility.

What if they had? He looked at her with a new perspective. She'd been gone for a couple days right? Had she gone to take care of the "consequence?" He felt his face pale as the blood drained. He took a deep breath and held it a few seconds before exhaling. Surely he was wrong. She wouldn't do that...not without telling him...right? "Keelin...what happened?"

He had to concentrate to keep his heart beat regular. He prayed he was jumping to conclusions. What if he wasn't? What if he was right? How would he react? He didn't know. But he stood there, the seconds seeming to stretch into hours. "I need to know..."

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[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

Curse her eighteen-year-old self and rash decisions. Although Adam said that he needed to know, Keelin was barely listening - her mind was spinning; what was he going to think of her? She should have talked to him back then. It was just that she bad been so confused. The idea of a teenage pregnancy... foolish as it was, it was one of those things Keelin had always imagined happened to other people. Not her, never her. But the illusion of invincibility had, sure enough, disappeared once that pregnancy test had come out positive. "Listen," she said to Adam, her voice distant. And why had she said that? She wasn't sure. She didn't want him to listen; she wanted the opposite, for him to not hear her and never find out. But what was the chance now, now that her tongue had loosened just enough to trap her?

"You're going to hate me." Keelin chewed on her lip, refusing to look at her ex-boyfriend once again. "And, before I say anything... just know... I'm so fucking sorry. Honestly." She had never thought that this would be a conversation she would have, despite the fact that she had mapped it out gods only knew how many times in her head. "Okay." She took another breath; her lungs seemed to fail her, now. "Okay." Keelin. Shut up and talk. "I... got pregnant..."

The words seemed so pathetic out loud, not the way you would ordinarily declare something so significant. They hung there, and Keelin could do nothing but wait painfully for Adam to respond.

[Adam Smith]

Adam sighed. Listen? No conversation that started with that word ever went well. He was NOT looking forward to this. But he tried to control him self. Tried to hear her out. Now she was talking about how he was going to hate her. He highly doubted that. He'd already prepared himself for the worse case scenario. Now, that didn't mean he was ok with it...by any sense of the word. But he couldn't imagine anything that could have possibly been worse than that...

"So fucking sorry." Oh gods. He'd been right. There was no other option. He stood there watching her as she stood there trying to get her thoughts together. Then she said it. She said it. He'd been right. His eyes rolled up to look at the ceiling. Gods, why... Why what? Why hadn't she told him? Why had she done that? Why hadn't he been more careful in the first place...He looked back at her, any happiness he'd had at seeing her was gone now. He definitely wasn't happy anymore. When he spoke it was slow, one word at a time. "So you...you...had an abortion?"

It was the only conclusion he could come to. She wouldn't have had to leave for any other reason. He didn't need to wait for her to answer to know. "So fucking sorry. That had pretty much said it all. Sorry. Sorry wasn't an eraser. Sorry didn't take away the fact that he hadn't even had a say in it. He groaned in frustration and opened the door. He couldn't stand there in the room any longer. He needed air. He went as far as the front porch, and took a deep breath of the air. He took several. He turned around to see her standing there, and he lifted his arms in defeat. "Keelin...how...how could you? How could you make that decision for us. It wasn't JUST yours to throw away."

He shook his head and sat down in a chair, he put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. This wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. He would have helped her. He would have done everything in his power to keep her happy and comfortable...she hadn't even told him. She hadn't even given him a chance.

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outfit; CLICK!!
tagged; Keelin
credits;
words by Doctor Who!
image from STALK ME REDNECK and Lillian Porter @ CAUTION 2.0

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[Keelin Renée Wyebourne]

Once again, this post begins with Keelin cursing her impulsive and extremely angsty teenage self because that was probably her only emotion when this thread took place. (Sidenote: The mun does not know when it took place because it's been going for like six months.) Why hadn't she just left the room when she'd seen Adam, kept everything to herself? He probably wouldn't have tried to talk to her again, she thought miserably; in the very moment, withering away underneath the guilt would have been preferable to having this conversation.

Once he spoke, confirming that he had heard her after all, Keelin's heart dropped. She could sense the coldness in his tone, the incredulousness that flavored his question that he already knew the answer to. Half of her wanted to run away and perhaps never be seen again - disappear from the camp for the second time, for the same reason but under different circumstances. But something made her feel as though roots had grown around her ribcage and extended to her legs and rooted her into the floor. She didn't trust herself to speak, and it felt as though she couldn't when he exited the room.

On impulse, Keelin followed him, disregarding the roots that had bound her seconds before. She needed to justify her actions, but there wasn't anything to justify. She had been wrong; how come she hadn't just spoken to Adam when she had discovered what had happened? He was right. It hadn't been just Keelin's to throw away. "I was scared, Adam," she said, now beyond choosing her words. Come what may, it certainly could not make things any worse. "I didn't know how you would react. And that was... beyond stupid of me, I know. And I know it doesn't cut it... but I'm so sorry." Breath. "And I understand if you never want to have anything to do with me again. Because I wouldn't either." You are a horrible human being, Keelin, she chided herself silently. If only it were possible to stop making mistakes. But, sadly, she was human and that was impossible.