{Uriel} Nothing you can do without.

[Talia Winchell]

To say that Tal had conflicted feelings for Uriel Mikhail would be like saying record-breaking hailstorms were the same as spring showers. She'd given him a fair amount of thought after she'd finally put some distance between them, and she had not come to any definite conclusions regarding her feelings for him. Oh, she knew how she had felt about him before, and even that was more complicated than she would like to admit. She'd wanted to grab him and kiss him at times; other times, her eyes fogged up whenever she thought of him. The weirdest things reminded the daughter of Hermes of their relationship; a mug on the windowsill, the discarded stuffed bear that she tried to keep out of sight, the taste of cinnamon sugar. But even she didn't have a name to classify such a relationship.

He had been an angel at times, swooping in to save her from herself. Other times, he had acted as the devil that Tal knew didn't exist; he was the source of the bruise on her eye, the tearstains on her pillow, a thousand other things she would try hard to forget and then remember in spite of herself. It was all just a source of melancholy for her now, as twisted as that was. She told herself repeatedly she didn't need him. When she'd told her therapist at the hospital about him, his eyebrows had drawn together. Tal just pretended not to notice.

He was her rock, but he was also the tidal waves that had swept her out to sea, and she was aware that this was in no way healthy; he was toxic medicine, the cracks between the sidewalk. It embarrassed Tal, sometimes, how unsure she could be about things. About everything, really. She was terrible at making even the most trivial of decisions, and this upset her. She wanted to be definite. She wanted to be solid, not a wisp of a person who couldn't even decide on the simplest of matters. She wanted to be a million things she could not be.

Part of her never wanted to set eyes upon him again, and part of her wanted to drive out to the city with him in the dark hours of the morning and talk beneath a blanket of stars. It wasn't at all poetic, the longing and confusion that consumed her whenever she heard his name. She considered it pathetic. It was plain and simple: she sucked at letting go of things, and for that she could not forgive herself.

It wasn't too late, perhaps eight at night, but the sun had already disappeared beneath the conifers hours before due to it being winter. Perhaps Tal should be inside as opposed to at the beach, but something about the nighttime drew her out again. Perhaps it was that she wasn't allowed to be outside after four p.m. at the hospital, and even when it was light outside, she needed to be accompanied. There was something special about being alone after dark, outside, feeling as though you could be swept away by your thoughts. The waves kissed the shore and rolled back out again, wind caressed the daughter of Hermes's hair, and she was alone.

Or so she thought, anyway.

[Uriel Camael Mikhail]

Uriel felt that he decayed each time he thought of her.

Well, it wasn't like he wasn't rotting already. He knew that it was just a matter of time till the inevitable came. His once, fiery youthful blonde hair slowly deteriorated to a dull gray. Streaks were even comparable to the very same thread that was used to knit the baskets that lined the row of the cabin. Even his skin turned paler. As if snow itself melted into his body. He looked like a zombie. Perhaps a zombie that had the carnal emotion to grin at the slight misfortune of others. It was the little things that brought his already dead mood up. When he purposely tripped Timothy to make him trip over the baskets that had the spider captured from the encounter some few nights ago. Or maybe when he misplaced books from their shelves, and even threw some to the other cabins. The faces of his siblings were just priceless. And the fact that they can't do anything about his sick pranks made it better. He loved them, sure. But he will gladly eat his young for a few short laughs.

But the worst part was that dreaded woman. That dreaded woman that indirectly caused the slow disease of his life. But at the same time, she was also the best parts of it. The only time where he could pride himself for doing something good. And that was saying something coming from him. Considering he was the epitome of a human drunk with melancholy and dead rage. But, he knew he wasn't confused. He knew that he wanted to make her feel loved and cared for. But she's the problem. She can't accept help. She was like this pretty little mannequin that he keeps trying to remind to be safe. But it was fruitless. She doesn't listen. If only she did.

He sneered at the thought as he sat by the last tree bordering at the beach. Sharpening a dagger. The permanent scowl that crossed his features was even more apparent this night. He had a feeling that, by some miracle, something good will happen, and he won't end up carving a Christmas Tree on another camper's chest. Even boredom became his problem nowadays. He remembered the time where he could hunt monsters down. Even with the pandemic. Camp life seemed...dull. The thrill was no longer there. But it should be expected. And appreciated. At least they weren't risking their necks anymore. The thought, playing along Uriel's mind was interrupted when , out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the woman who shall not be named.

Son of a bitch... Uriel muttered under his breath. She was already here? How could it be hidden from him? How was she? Did she recover? Thousands of questions flooded through his mind. But, deep inside, he was happy. At least she looked...better. Much prettier. But that was probably because she looked like her sister. Or maybe it's because the little feeling that never left was starting to twingle again. He didn't know what to do; punch her head off or talk to her, like a civil person.Maybe he'd just ruin her day. Or maybe he needed to settle this once and for all.

He approached her, silently, like a panther stalking it's beautiful prey. He wanted to lunge and bite her in a predatory sense. But perhaps that would not be an appropriate thing to do. He didn't know whether he should demand her apology or he should apologize. And as he started to calculate this problems, the creepiest and possibly worst thing came out of his mouth as he approached her from behind.

"I missed you."

[/font]

[Talia Winchell]

At the words, Tal startled. Yes, she was accustomed now to the rolling of the waves and the whispers of the wintertime wind, but she had not prepared herself for a human voice - at that, a very familiar human voice. One that had told her he loved her, didn't want her, to kill herself, to love him. Just the voice on its own made her eyes fog up. No. She didn't have enough energy to talk to him she couldn't possibly she couldn't fulfill his needs she didn't know what he wanted.

And the words. I missed you. Like hell he had missed her. He'd fucked her over so badly, it was almost impressive. The daughter of Hermes couldn't count the times she'd had to be consoled or "dealt with" because her emotions after seeing him were simply out of her control. It was sick, it was a disease. But at the same time... she did miss him. Like she was sick and he was the cure. She could not tell what she wanted from him.

I missed you. How the hell was she supposed to even reply to that? She stayed silent, letting her windswept hair hide her face from his view. Tal did not want to stay silent, but she wasn't sure how many choices she had that wouldn't end in something horrible. "I..." her voice betrayed her, spilling out into the night between them. I missed you too, like the sea misses the shore and how pirate ships miss tidal waves. And at the same time... All my flowers have died. You're poisonous. Get out of my life.

"Wh-What..." To Tal's raw horror, her voice trembled as she spoke. "I just... what do you want?"

[Uriel Camael Mikhail]

You. Uriel bitterly thought. It was true that people wanted what they could never truly have. In his case, it was her. Of course, Uriel's feelings was worse than the void that encompassed the whole universe. It was hard to decipher. He didn't even know why he bothered entertaining them. It would be much better to just go and live with the wolves or something. Uriel sneered at her. But he didn't lift a finger against her.

"Do I need a motive every single time I try to be nice?" Uriel whispered. He was the complete opposite of people when he was angry. Instead of shouting, his voice becomes harder to listen to, so you needed to listen to each syllable intently to understand what he wanted to say. And it made him feel threatening. And it proved his point. "Can I not, perhaps be a decent human being before the atrocities I did?" He closed their distance, he let his cold breath be felt on her skin as his voice became even much more silent. Barely whispering at all, a mere poisonous hiss. He wanted to unnerve her, at the same time, make her feel that he was serious.

"Can I not love you, Talysus?" He felt like the serpent, tempting Eve to take a bite of the shiny red fruit that was sure to send her spiraling down into his opened jaws. But the question still hung dead on the air, under the waves. "You ask what I want, I want you. I want you safe." He admitted, though his voice still sounded threatening. Even as he slowly peeked over her shoulder, to make hearing his cold voice easier. "I heard you got better.";/font]

[Talia Winchell]

No, he didn't need a motive, but she didn't want to talk to him. At the very least, that was what she was trying to convince herself of. Tal could feel his breath on her neck as he spoke; she couldn't tell whether or not he was being genuine, whether or not to let him in. She had so many questions for him that she knew he wouldn't answer. The atrocities. Was he making up for those actions or was he simply buttering her up for more electric shocks? She could not tell, at this point.

"Can I not love you, Talysus?"

There was the word, the word that she had made a promise to avoid; that word did nothing but fuck everything up. Look at where it had gotten her. And yet... she would soon be within its clutches again. She could feel it pulsing through her bloodstream, mixing with the anxiety and paranoia. A shiver ran down her spine as she answered with a timid voice, "I... I don't know what you..." She broke off, unable to go on. Please leave me alone leave me leave me.

"You ask what I want, I want you. I want you safe."

The daughter of Hermes tried her best to listen to the crashing tidal waves over the fabricated sugar of his smooth voice, but there was othing she could do. "I am safe," she whispered back, trembling. "I'm okay. I'm fine." Leave me alone. I can't do this. Not anymore.

"I heard you got better."

Better. It was such an odd word; she wasn't sure if she was better. Tal knew enough to say that she was in recovery, but she wasn't better. And yet... she wanted him to know that she had made progress. He'd wanted that for her, even between the black eyes and cold looks. He had cared about her, at one point in time. What a sick, twisted joke this was between two sick, twisted kids. "I... I'm recovering. I'm alright," she responded against her will. Her tongue formed words that her mind had not wrapped itself around. "Better than when you last saw me, I guess..." That much was true.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," she stated simply. For a second, she felt on top of the world, but now it was as though she had crashed below the waves. All she had to do was brace herself for the physical and emotional blows sure to come.

[Uriel Camael Mikhail]

"That's good." Uriel knew that it wasn't true. She isn't, in anyway better. She has been improving. She looked a lot prettier She looked well-fed and groomed. No visible scars. But he knew that there was more than meets the eye. She was probably the same wreck she was before. Uriel pitied that. He wanted to be the one who'll help her get over that. It may sound selfish. But he felt possessive over her. She was...more than a friend. That much is known. He felt like he still had a chance to redeem himself.

Then she said her next words. Uriel could feel the tension she felt. She felt like she had something over him. And he needed to make sure to dismantle that silly thing. Or at least, that's what he would have done. If not his body betraying him. He frowned, leaned over and let his long fingers slide over her shoulder, giving her the cold touch. "I know. I haven't forgiven myself either." It was true. Every night it ate at him, how foolish he was, to commit that mistake.

He frowned at her, and he spoke even further, his voice felt much more...feeling. And he didn't sound like some parrot with a scary voice. "And...I just want you to feel that I still loved you even after all that, I didn't mean anything I said...I was just so...confused, and distracted by what was happening. I needed an outlet, and being the selfish prick that I was. I...thought I was helping. I wasn't. I was only hurting the woman I really do love." He admitted once more. Uriel bit his lip. Enough to draw that crimson droplet. "So...I'm not asking you to forgive me, but at least try to give me a glimmer of chance." He traced his index finger down her arms, and he hissed out his next words. "Because...to be honest, I was a shittier person without you." Uriel continued "And you really do fix me...or at least I think so."

[Talia Winchell]

"Yeah." She just wanted to get out of here. She could still feel his hot breath on her neck, and it made her want to kiss him and kill him at the same time; Tal wasn't ready for this again. I want to run away. I want to lean in... "...Yeah." Now she was just stumbling over her words, eyes darting from left to right for whatever escape hatch might appear in front of her.

It was impossible to tell if he truly felt remorseful. Tal could feel the lack of trust pulsing through her veins, and the weight of the conversation sent electricity through her heart. When he slid his arm over her shoulder, she shuddered from the cold and shock. He felt the same as he always had: strong, cool, like he could conquer the world with his hands behind his back. And yet, there was some air of despondence to the whole affair. It took a few seconds for Tal to fully grasp herself and think about how to respond to him. And even then... what could she say?

"I don't know what to think about you. I can't trust you, okay... I have no idea if you actually do love me or if you're just saying that to make me feel better about that whole shitty... thing." She took a breath, stars dancing before her eyes, and continued. "You hurt me. A lot. Yeah... I don't know if I can forgive you..." Pause. This conversation was all she'd never wanted, but now... it had unfolded much differently than she had believed it would. "One more chance." He traced paths down her arms as she blushed in the dark.

"I was always a shitty person. I can't tell if you helped or not. I mean... you did some stuff to me that I can't fully forgive you for. But... you helped me too. In some way. You gave me Hope." Hope. That bear had long since been forgotten. She cracked a smile at the irony. "I don't know whether to give you a chance..."

[Uriel Camael Mikhail]

That was...a lot better than he expected. They didn't try to kill each other or so. They were just...honest. And nothing's wrong with that. It felt good, liberating that honesty can still help at times. Even Tal shown signs of improvements. Even with that ironic pun that made Uriel roll his eyes but smile all the while at it's sillyness. "I hope Hope still lives." He meant that in both ways. The teddy bear, and the hope that both of them will be re united. And maybe, just maybe, he can truly fix her up.

"Oh? Well...Yes. Maybe, just maybe, you'd love to spend time with me again?" Uriel wasn't even reasoning with her. He just wanted to make her realize that maybe being with him wasn't such a bad idea, and it might help her. Unlikely, as Uriel is a very bad influence. But he'll clean himself up. For her, of course. Always for her. Uriel wondered why he really did feel attracted to her. And it was quite scary.

"Besides, what's there to lose?" Her progress in healing herself, her eyes, her heart Fine. There was plenty to lose if she gives him a chance. But he was going to do his best, right? To help her at least. To make it better for them. He just hopes that she'd cooperate. "And...this might be the weirdest question ever, but...Do you love me? Or what? Can't answer that? That's the reason why I can't answer your question as well. I don't want to assure you that I do love you. I want to show you." Actions did speak louder than words.

[Talia Winchell]

"She does." Tal didn't want to focus on the bigger picture; it was too much for her to handle. A teddy bear was much more easily mended than crossed boundaries between friends - she didn't even know whether or not they were friends. "And she misses you." Where was all this coming from? She was slipping back into Uriel's strong clutches. But she was stronger now and, if need be, she could do anything she wanted to him. If he wronged her, she wouldn't be that timid little shadow of a girl who took the abuse. She was much better than that.

Would she love to spend time with him? "I'm not sure," she responded with the painful truth. "Maybe... I need time, okay...?" There was so much for her to catch up on and, admittedly, she would love to spend just a little time with him. Find out what she'd missed while she was occupied swallowing petty rainbows of pills. Figuring out how she felt for Uriel was like finding a needle in a haystack.

There was plenty to lose, was her first thought, but there was also plenty to gain. And... "I don't know what my feelings for you are. I can't tell. You treated me like shit, but you also treated me like a queen... I don't know what to think." She couldn't afford to think of her words' effect on him now. All that mattered was that she was taking care of herself.

[Uriel Camael Mikhail]

Uriel let his smile linger. She was getting better. She could think straight, at least. So that's good. Uriel let out a small sigh of relief. Right after she said that Hope was fine, and that the fluffy teddy missed him, "I miss her as well...And her mommy too." Uriel said, with as much sincerity as he did his previous statements. He even let his head rest on her shoulder. To smell her rich, brown hair and to feel her warmth. For once, she felt... alive.

"Mm? Well. I know I did. That's why I'm here, right? I'm asking for your forgiveness. I just want to hold you again, and this time. No Lana to judge."{/b] Uriel regretted those words the instant they left his mouth. Wouldn't that mean that he was implying that they can be more than friends? Uriel let that thought sink into his mind, and he nuzzled her even closer.

"Take as much time as you need..I'll still be waiting." They sounded more like a couple trying to fix a broken relationship rather than friends looking to fix their friendship. Uriel discreetly smiled at the thought. Maybe he does like that. "And by the way... I think I'm leaving camp, soon."

[Talia Winchell]

"...and her mommy too."

Tal couldn't tell if he meant that he missed the physical her or mental her, the girl who had been locked up in a padded room for six months or the girl who had received the teddy bear with smiling eyes. Who she was could be considered a foreign concept. It all depended on the state of mind; her kaleidoscope of a mind was constantly shifting, tossing its contents this way and that until she couldn't differentiate one thing from the other. It was unhealthy, she knew. "I..." she stuttered again, for she did not know what she should say. Even five minutes ago, her world had been much different than it was now. The sky grew steadily darker; the winter wind refused to cease, and the waves came and gone. All the while, Tal was aware of Uriel's head on her shoulder.

When he spoke again, her blood seemed to freeze. Her heart stopped beating, and her lungs started folding in upon themselves. Did he consider them lovers? She couldn't do this, she decided in that moment. He had hurt her so much. It was only then that she felt a flash back to the spring before this; the time when the pain he had inflicted on her had been impossibly raw and real. No. Tal couldn't let him stand in the way of her quest for happiness.

"I..." she repeated, before suddenly standing up and looking down at him. "I'm sorry. I can't do this. I don't know. I just can't." To her horror, her eyes welled up, the beach folding into a single swath of almost undetectable color. "I'm honestly so sorry... but I just..."